Wednesday, May 9, 2012

One is a Lonely Number

The other day I was looking at recipes online. I don't cook much these days but I miss having someone to think of during the day and figure out the best meal for 'us' for that evenings meal. Should we sit in the living room by the fire? At the big dining table? Kitchen? Al Fresco? I love puttering in the kitchen and throwing together a simple meal. Red wine or white? I love the whole event of sharing a meal. I thought to myself, perhaps I should do it anyway....just for me. Other single friends I know seem to be able to pull this off. So I was looking at a salmon recipe that looked great and thought that might be a good one to try. On this particular website, you can adjust the ingredient amounts depending on the number of people you want to cook for. I changed the original number from 'six' down to 'one', and as soon as I saw that number I lost it. 'One' truly is the "loneliest number".

I was with an old friend several weeks ago and we were talking about how things were going with me in this current place I am in. "There are a whole lot of worse things than loneliness" he said. Yes....I had to agree. Loneliness is not fun, but when I feel it starting to wrap its ugly arms around me I can often escape it's clutches. It is not the worse thing I have experienced, that's for sure. I have to say that comment he made has stayed with me all these weeks. It has actually propelled me from going down that lonely road to another place that I'm finding is becoming more and more familiar. Thankfulness. Gratitude. Contentment.

I have a good life. A very good life. Of course it was a great life with Kenny here to share it with, but even still it is good. And even though loneliness creeps in now and then, I think of all I have and I cannot stay lonely long. Each day is a new beginning. A new hope. A new adventure. Aside from the best years of my life that I spent with Kenny, I have to say I am happier now than I have ever been. Other than having my Kenny back, I would not change a thing.....

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