Unexpected

On Saturday I had my son over at the house and took advantage of his technical expertise. What I needed was a new email address that would coincide with my existing one. I tried for a few minutes beforehand but gave up easily as soon as I felt the frustration build. "I'll have Nate do it"....and so I did. While he was getting me set up, I suggested an email address that was very close to my existing one....just my middle initial rather than my whole middle name spelled out was the only difference. Easy. But when he checked, he said there was already an account with that address. Darn! As he was fiddling around, I was looking at my little index card with all my passwords of basically everything and noticed that I did have another email address.....and it was the one I had asked Nate to do. I had totally forgotten that Kenny had set me up....months ago. We typed it in, and yes....there is was. And along with it was the initial "test" email from Kenny. Just simple...just a few words....but they floored me....and brought me to tears....."hello....love you".

And then yesterday I was flicking through the TV stations and landed on the very last 20 minutes or so of Forrest Gump. I haven't watched it for quite some time and forgot how it ended. It was all quite sweet....his son....who was smart....who mimics his father.... and then Jenny....sick....they get married....Forrest takes care of her....she dies....and there he is standing at her grave, talking to her and says through his tears, "I miss you Jenny". I lost it. Again. Tears.

These moments come. Quite often they come and they are almost always unexpected. Of course I expect them. I expect to cry still....to miss him still....to want him back. But I never know just how they will come....I just know that they do....they always do...

"I miss you Kenny....and love you too".