Grief

Grief is a strange thing. Just when you think it is on the 'outs', it creeps back in. At the beginning of the year, I felt great. Happy. Whole. "This is going to be a great year".... and even though I still believe that to certain degrees, I also know that along with this "great year" there is still going to be a lot of sadness too. It comes with the territory of losing a wonderful person. Someone who knew me better than anyone else on earth.

I knew Kenny for a total of 4 years, 4 months. Even though others have known me for years, no one knew me like Kenny. He wanted to know everything about me and he never ceased to inquire. Not just things about me, but how I felt, what I thought, what made me tick. He never tired in his quest. He wanted to know me. And he was a safe place for me to be myself with. I miss that. Everyone wants to be known.

And so the days meld into one another and I realize that it is now 10 months since Kenny left. What a huge hole he left behind. Every morning my day begins with a cup of coffee, a glass of water, pillows propped on my bed, my Bible, my computer....and box of kleenex. And so it goes....