I went to my old work place yesterday too. A lovely restaurant with lovely people working there and lovely customers too. There were a few old customers I would see on a regular basis that I sat with and caught up. Two, I mentioned Ken's condition- both turned very grave. One told me his brother died of ALS....a horrible disease he said. He got teary as he told me what a rough road was ahead. I know it...but I don't really KNOW it. I think there is still a measure of denial....this really isn't happening. All will be ok. Kenny will be fine again. "Lord, please!"
Today Kenny and I are going to Oakland to meet a friend for lunch who is visiting from Idaho. From there we will meet up with my sister who is going to give us a wheelchair. A wheelchair. So far, life has not been too distressing. Sure, I have to help Kenny get dressed and a few other things, but for the most part everything else is as normal. Sure, no more long walks or exercise classes, hikes or dance classes. But that has not been hard to handle. A wheelchair though. That is the beginning of different. The beginning of difficult. The beginning of "I don't want to do this anymore!" and yet I know it truly is just the beginning.
The man yesterday that I spoke with. I asked him if his brother was able to stay home and he said yes, up to the last few months, then he was in an assisted living place. Kenny had mentioned moving to one...the both of us. Depressing? yes. I am sure it would be. I want to stay here, in my lovely house in CV. Even without Kenny I want to stay here. But I cannot imagine being separated from him and I am sure he would not want that either. What to do? I don't know, but I also know I don't need to worry about it now. Today is a new day, and I believe it will be a good one. I can do today with the help of the Lord.