Monday, May 31, 2010

A Hard Day

Yesterday was a hard day. I cried a lot. This morning too. I cannot believe this is happening. I read a lot of material about husband reading it too. He is so even about everything...I seem so up and down....but lately down.

I know he wanted to cheer me up so decided to have lunch at Bernardus. A lovely place...the weather was perfect. We had picked up a wheelchair the day before and he said maybe for experiment sake we could try out the wheelchair. I lost it. Not the bawling out loud stuff, but a steady stream of quiet tears. I am not ready for that! I feel like a wheelchair is a huge turn in the road and I just don't want to do it.

Today I had a class at 8 a.m. so was on the road early. Prayed while driving which lead to more tears. I pretty much had those tears early and the rest of the day has been ok. Laid in the sun...went to see Sex and the City. Glass of wine on the deck at home afterwards...soon...Bachelorette!!! tears. I need to be this more. Happy and in love. If these truly are my husbands last days I want them to be happy ones.

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